Monday, December 26, 2016


Oh no.
He had been a shadow of himself for a long time now. No, not even a shadow.
I stopped following what he did long ago, it was sad to see.
But he was the main soundtrack to my teens. And I had the hugest crush on him then. Just yesterday  Last Christmas came up on the radio for the umpteenth time and I took the chance to explain to my sons what platonic love is. It's serendipitous (as usual with me), had not come up in years. I almost lost my sanity back then trying to figure out what the hell he was saying in certain parts of that song, listening over and over and then over again!. I still remember how  my English teacher feared me, trying to get her to translate Careless whisper and then every song after that. I didn't understand, and couldn't bear it.
I saw that video, heard  that song, and it stayed with me like nothing before (for me it wasn't the Wham dancey type with the shorts at all. I liked him despite that. It was that guy in the suit who could look at you like he did there -and the music). I was lucky I had taped it, saw it a million times literally. Where I lived nobody knew him, and wouldn't for a long time. Afraid to say, he was my main motivation for learning English.. silly me. He was something else.
Still it felt like this amazing musician was just too gentle for life, or flawed, or ill-equipped. So at one point he went and did a 180, hit self-destruct with such intent there was barely a trace of grace left. I'm sure he was generous and kind but...
They're saying all sorts of nonsense now as they always do, from conceited vacuous Elton John to the tabloids (like CNN, nr 1 tabloid, how disgracefully they're covering this).
Anyway, very sad.
Pic: my closet a million years ago, somebody took this photo of me there.

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